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I'm awesome. See how it doesn't rain on me when I walk down the street in a storm? That's cause I sold my soul to the devil.

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Higher Education...

I'm ready to be done with college.

How is it that you pay "x" amount of ga-bazillion dollars to recieve higher education and at the end of the whole thing, it just doesn't seem worth it. After all the fraud of buying textbooks that get upgraded every semester that your professor wrote himself and that he fuckin lectures to you word for word. In all the four-plus years that you end up buying books, transportation, dorms (for you that are a bit more priviledged than us commuters), student loans, it all costs more than the national debt and the wardrobe for the cast of "Sex and The City" combined.

Don't forget the costs to unwind from all that alleged learning: liquor, parties, weed....high speed internet for all that music (and porn) i'm stealing.

I might have neglected to tell you that i'm graduating this semester and I don't feel prepared by the powers that be to enter the workforce.

What a waste.

Posted by TastyKeish at 10:15 PM


It's alil drafty in here....

Are you guys ready for a draft? I sure as hell ain't.
Today a friend asked me if I heard it on the news and I said "No, I don't watch news, I tune it out". Anyway turns out the government (whom from this point on will be referred to as "The Man") is trying to push some bills thru that would make anyone, men and women ages 18-26 years old qualified to be drafted. But then again, I know what you're thinking, "Why should I (this means you) believe a girl that makes up stories about knowing the President?" Don't believe me, read this article on wbai.org (a non-partisan independent news source that isn't owned by any corporations) . http://www.wbai.org/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=1462&Itemid=2
So it turns out that this time around we can't get out of this draft like George Bush got out of the Vietnam War. They're taking women and students. Students are allowed to finish their current semester and seniors can finish out the year. Oh and moving to Canada is out of the question, because "The Man" has arrainged with Canada's "The Man" to send anyone looking to cross the border back home.

That's some f'ed up shit. Here are some things I would do to personally avoid going to war:
1. Stop taking birth control, cause they can't send preganant women to war. But then again, I'd have to take care of those little terrorists known as kids.
2. Get a high and cut off like 3 of my toes, so I can't run. Better make that a whole foot, after all thats how they kept Toby on the Plantation in "Roots".
3. Maybe I would just get high all the time, that way I won't be forced to operate heavy machinery.
4. I would move to Mexico, maybe I could help some of those sweatshop kids make sneakers.
5. (add your reason here).

Damn the 52% percent of y'all that voted Bush. Damn.

Posted by TastyKeish at 1:16 AM


Don't worry, Be happy...

If you haven't heard the news yet, I'm out of work.

Don't feel sorry for me, I was thinking about calling up my good buddy George Bush, who atleast 48% of America wouldn't mind feeding to carnivorous baby seals. Anyway, I was thinking about asking Georgy for a job since Colin Powell is leaving and all, me and Condelizza can kick it. She can show me where to get the ill perm in Washington all the while tutoring me on foreign affairs. I would just say, "Hey girl, tell them Iraqi's not to make me come over there with my shoe!" and we would have a good laugh. Later on I would cornrow her hair at the white house while teaching the first lady ebonics. And on the weekends I would go clubbin with the twins, Jenna and Barbara and I could get them drunk and let them show their boobies to the "Girls gone Wild" guy...

Soon as I get a phonecard I'm gonna holla at my nizzle George W.

Posted by TastyKeish at 1:48 AM


Random Rave

Hey y'all I'm officially depressed. Alf has been resurected from the bowels of television hell. Am I the only person who thought that was a waste of good tv? Another waste of tv is the Tony Danza show, actually maybe ALF should replace him. Oh, and how sad is it that Ed Mcman is ALF's co host? Poor old guy, he's second place to a fuckin puppet. I'm not gonna lie, I'd be second place to a mucus filled christmas stocking if they paid me enough.

On another note, why since i got satellite can't i make my VCR work? I swear it's a conspiracy to make me come home to watch "The Apprentice", "ER", "Twilight Zone","Quantum Leap", "Real World", "Starting Over",all the different Law and Order Shows, as well as the different CSI shows, Sesame street, The Simpsons, The News in general...etc. That's alot of tv to not be taping.

Posted by TastyKeish at 2:19 AM



Dear Ol' Dirty Bastard,

It's fucked up how the news is taking every chance even in yor death to disparage your image. We all know you been to prison but why they gotta show you in cuffs on every channel when they announced your death? So, you escaped from rehab? That's what we expect a nigga that names himself "Big Baby Jesus" to do. But why does it have to implied that you died because of your drug problems? And if you did die because of drugs, that' nobody's business but yours. Instead you got these cheap scrolling captions on the bottom of the TV. If you were seeing that from wherever you are now, I bet you want to pop a cap in the media's ass. People loved your crazy ass from all over the world, why can't they show that?

Rest in Peace.

Posted by TastyKeish at 10:17 PM


Pass the cocktail sauce please...

I was on the bus the other day and from the window, I saw a 99 cents store. No big deal, they're everywhere. But this one had a sign in the window that said: "Jamaican Pepper Shrimp $3.00". First of all, why doesn't the Shrimp cost 99 cents? And what the hell is a delectable crustacian like shrimp doing at a 99 cents store?!

Posted by TastyKeish at 1:49 PM


This will hurt alil...

Does it ever physically hurt your brain to be around someone but you keep them around because you're one of those people that collects friends and cant fathom people not liking you? I'm obviously not talking about myself because EVERYONE does like me.

But every now and then there's someone I want to stab with chopsticks through each eye, while they're talking so I can hear the pain they are expressing. And then I want to interrupt their screaming by asking to them to pass the butter, so that I can butter a piece of toast and smack them with it. I know the buttered toast might be overkill, but trust me, I have felt so relieved after a good buttered toast smackdown. Try it, lemme know how it goes.

I would like to nominate a few people for the "Buttered toast Smackdown", and they are:

1. The guy at the deli counter that gave me attitude yesterday, the turkey smelled funny asshole.
2. All of the midwest that put Bush back in office, I guess they want a President who can't spell like them.
3. Whoever hasn't sent my scholarship money yet...If you didn't spend it on your Atlantic City crack whore, mail it dammit!
4. I wanna add jelly to this smackdown: Freeloaders, especially the ones that act like they don't know they're doing it. Pay your way or go home.
5. Those annoying ass kids that get on the train after school with no home training acting like the pieces of shit they really are. It just be easier to shank them ala HBO's "Oz".
6. There's a special place in my heart for ex'es, maybe we should shank them too.

Please feel free to add to the Buttered Toast Smackdown list. We can find these people together and change the world.
6. There's a special place in my heart for ex'es, maybe we should shank them too.

Please feel free to add to the Buttered Toast Smackdown list. We can find these people together and change the world.

Posted by TastyKeish at 11:54 PM


My most sincere apologies...

My poor minions. You have suffered a whole week without my cleaver stories and quotes to carry you though the day.

I shall let you suffer more.

I'm just kidding.

I had a long week....
1. Busy cheating, only to fail midterms.
2. Donating sex to my boyfriend, only to find out he wan't leaving forever anymore...Atleast i can go back to witholding again.
3. It was my mom's birthday, I gave her a very emotionally taxing high-five.
4. There was this funeral I didn't goto because I was busy doing #2.

You might think the list was short but all the stuff really,really, really, really, really, kind of important.

My bad.

Posted by TastyKeish at 10:54 PM



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