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I'M BAACCKK!

And boy it was something. For the most part my boyfriend who I expressly went to see was at work most of the time so I eneded up hanging out with his 70-something year old parents at their Senior Complex. Think Melrose Place meets The Golden Girls mulitplied by Meet the Fockers.

1. I learned early that never under any circumstances fix electronics for old people, they keep looking for you when something goes wrong. Advantage: I looked like a genius. Disadvantage: they're like homeless people, once you feed, clothe, and let them shower....they don't want to leave you alone.
2. Certain old people are loose canons. Which was well demonstrated in the public displays of affection that Howie's Mom would scream out at her husband in a crowded supermarket, telling him " FUCK YOU!". As I was the only black person in the vincinity, I quickly removed myself from the situation.
3. By the way, they spit on you when they talk. And you can't wipe it off because it might seem rude.
4. Apparently buying in bulk is the only way to go for Howie's father. WIth three people in the house, he shops at Sam's Club for a pack of 80 rolls of toilet paper, he buys CASES of mangoes, large BAGS of Onions. And since he's old he forgets that he already bought mustard, jelly, and othe condiments, resulting in having about 3 or 4 of the same thing.
5. Oh and I can't forget the China Buffet outing when I met some of their friends. There was "Big Fran" who for obvious reasons felt it was necessary to have a rib in one hand and a crab leg in the other. Then was her husband "Sexy Seymour" who felt it was necessary to tell me about the porno spam he gets in his email...with a big smile. And, flying solo, was crazy Tilly with her walker that had a secret compartment for food they could take FROM the buffet, she couldn't help but ask me everydetail of my life. It was funny seeing her head almost explode when I would give her vague answers like "uhuh" and " it's nice".

But when I did hang out with Howie, we went to some bars and found one with a "Ladies Night" thing with free drinks for ladies. I totally got drunk for 6 bucks(you gotta tip!)...so some of that old people cheapness rubbed off.


Posted by TastyKeish at 5:23 PM
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