and that's okay.
But I wish you would have told me first....
Let's back track here. It's friday night, I was busy getting stood up for a date (maybe I shouldn't have told him I wasn't interested- oops!). I forgot the cardinal rule- Don't show you don't want to have sex till after the bill portion of the meal. I guess no one wants to just be friends anymore, the type that pay for your meal, I mean. I didn't care except that the MotherF-er now owes me a swipe on my Metrocard.
As I began to walk away, I saw my guy friend from pseudo-work (work you don't get paid for and/or sometimes not even recognized for) and I approached him after completing his potato chip purchase. I just realized he didn't offer me any... But that's cool cause after we talk abit, he invites me to this party he's on a list for and has a plus one. I'm like, " Shit, I partied with you before, so let's go!" Let me tell you, I had my suspicions about his sexuality, but not like to be noisy but just to validate my own hotness. Cause during our last time chillin, my best Beyonce-like booty dance was not breaking a brother down...so either I smell or you're gay. Because I'm Tastykeish and who wouldn't love to Jay-Z my Beyonce?
Ok, damn so now that you know the level of my sexy, back to the story. We got some food, and made our way downtown. He explains that, it's his friends party that has a Dirty South feel. I'm getting hyped up for an ass bumping good time, but I do tell him that D.C Gogo music doesn't count because it's shit.... We finally get there 3 subways later, and when we get to the door, the door guy looks at us and says " You know what type of party this is, right?" Last time I heard that I walked into a ghetto sausagefest with guys that look like they would shank you with a No.2 pencil dancing to reggae with each other. I'm totally cool because, it's a party right?
Now it's not weird cause it's a gay party, that probably made it better. But we enter and white folks are everywhere dancing all over the place like they're having seizures. We put our coats down, circulate, grab a drink, and dance to the spastic Ipod mixing DJ. Even the gay girl from America's Next Top Model was there and her friend was checking me out. How about that for Tasty? People are on stage in various stages of undress, a curvy-in-the-wrong places chick wearing suspenders covering her nipples, people just wearing tighty whities. I was thinking about taking my pants off too, I thought my SpongeBob undies would have been a good look.
Eventually, my buddy finds his friend, this weasly looking hispanic (maybe white) dude that is quite wonderful. Shit, everyone is wonderful once you buy me a drink. We all were dancing, I turn around for a second then start to turn back and out of the corner of my eye...my homie is kissing his homie!
I'm cool and shit, I turn around and keep dancing, goto the bar and just marinate on what I just saw.
I'm honored that my homie felt comfortable enough to take me to his chill spot and be so open. But he could have just told me, then again when I goto SCORES, I don't tell people I like strippers....
Til I get my lapdance!
Posted by TastyKeish at 1:53 AM
A personal favorite...
As I sit home just marinated in the blue glow of the television, drinking wine and eating cheese, I offer you this Re-Post from last year (1-20-05)...
I am Cheesus and I spread the gospel that is cheese.
It is written in the Book of Jilltwiss.blogspot.com that 3 Wise Men brought gifts unto the Baby Cheesus: Cheddar, Munster, and Bleu. I am the same Cheesus that madeth the face of Virgin Mary appear on a grilled cheese sandwich on Ebay. To pay homage to the grilled cheese sandwiches I will be hosting a pilgrimage to Grilled Cheese NYC, a restaurant in the lower east side that sells only grilled cheese sandwiches and variations of it. I got this vision from the Food Channel angels that these people were doing the good works of I, Cheesus.
Together, We will walk up the Swiss mountain top and drink from the Kraft Rivers and shredded mozzerella shall dry the tears of the poor. Cheesus will never part a sea of cheese because it deserves to be basked in, like cheese topped garlic bread.
And when you have a problem choosing an item on a menu; ask yourself: "What would Cheesus do?" And then you can proceed to pick anything made of, topped with, or stuffed with cheese.
I do not forsake my lactose intolerant children, Cheesus has many alternatives, unfortunatly Soy Cheese is the Devil's work and you should risk constipation or diarrhea to show respect to me.
Cheesus Loves You. Amen.
Posted by TastyKeish at 11:26 PM
No blogroll yet, but it's on its way!